sample website edit

This is an example of rewording a home page for a client. It includes suggestions and done in an informal, approachable way with good advice, compliments and constructive criticism with direction on how to change things for yourself.

It is just a copy/paste from my word document and it is not my intention here to deliver a perfect post, rather to give you an idea of the depth I go into for my website edits. If you are looking for something similar for your website, contact me today.

Here is what your customer sees when they open your website. With this image as your background, you cannot see the words ‘do’ ‘mood’ or ‘digestion’ properly. You of course can when you scroll down, but that’s not entirely the point.

I suggest a new image here, light in colour throughout. I don’t know why, but I am drawn to a bunch of lavender like this:

(I sourced these images from unsplash)

As you suggested, herbs would also be a brilliant idea. It’s more relevant. Maybe choose a herb that is significant to your work in some way, or an image that you feel represents you. This is the first image your clients will see and you want it to represent your business. (that old, ‘the picture says 1000 words’ kind of thing).

Here are some suggestions, again sourced from Unsplash:

To be honest, none of these images are quite right. The rows of herbs that you have for your ‘my approach’ page might be a good bet. Be careful about keeping the colour of the image quite the same throughout to avoid what your website currently shows, or make the effort to box your text in with a solid background so it is readable. I will move on for now.

Next to address is the flow throughout the home page. Here is what you currently have.

CURRENTDESCRIPTIONNOTES ON WHAT IS HAPPENINGNEW PLACEMENTWHYWHAT I EXPECT TO HAPPEN
1Impact statementPeople read this1logicalPeople read this
2Short welcomePeople read this2logicalPeople read this
3About mePeople starting to lose interest by now4Let’s now put a face to the claims. Your image would do well here, as words are starting to overwhelm the consumer brain. (we need pictures to keep us moving)Ah, a picture. This is Lynne, she looks nice. Flick through this snippet of what you have to say. Keep it short with a ‘read more’ is ideal. Leaving it open for more will invite those who have read to click and read more. Movement through the website is great.
4What is a registered naturopathpeople glancing over this, feel like they know what it has to say perhaps.5Addressing doubts that may be surfacing.For those interested, they will read.
5Getting helpscrolling through, getting bored now3I  believe here you should focus still more about your customer and what you can do for them, rather than moving on to the part about ‘you’. You still have their attention and when it is centered around them, it holds their interest further.People continue to read on from the welcome statement, questions have been asked, questions they say yes to. Taking the bait.
6Testimonialrecognise what this is, nodding, oh yes, she’s more than talk she actually does business, cool.6Time for a break and give the readers something they can relate to – we all know what testimonials are about.Again, recognition that you actually run a business and have satisfied customers.
Ah! Some lavender! (might be why I was digging the lavender vibe before.     
7Approachpeople don’t know what this is7 Bring in some visuals and scrap the number system here. People are tiring of words and want answers
8Contact infopeople say, oh yep, contact info, end of the page.8Always is at the end. No point changing something that is universally working.Include a punchy final statement that ties it together and creates a call to action.

Suggestions for change and reasons why:

  1. Impact Statement: Do you want to improve energy, mood, sleep, stress, hot flushes, digestion, skin, weight?

I can help you.

alternative considerations:

  • Suffering from low energy, mood swings, restless sleep, stress, hot flushes, poor digestion, unhealthy skin, weight issues? I can help you.
  • Let’s improve your energy, mood, sleep, stress, hot flushes, digestion, skin and weight. I’m here to help.
  • You can make improvements to your energy levels, mood, sleep, skin or weight. I can alleviate stress, hot flushes, poor digestion and more. Let’s connect.
  • Finding natural ways to improve your energy, mood, sleep, stress, hot flushes, digestion, skin and weight.
  • Work with nature to seek solutions to improve energy, mood, sleep, stress, hot flushes, digestion, skin and weight.

(Nothing is wrong with your impact statement, I quite like it. I’m just offering some alternatives here although wouldn’t push you to change).

  1. WELCOME

Alternative considerations:

  • A lifelong talent to heal and more than 15 years of professional experience allows me to combine the identification of energetic balances with specialized muscle testing techniques to guide your body to restore energy, health and wellbeing.
  • I work in a delicate balance that uses natural resources and a number of specialised strategies that accurately assess what is out of balance in your body and what you most need to heal, and to improve your energy, health and wellbeing.
  • A calling to this line of work has brought me here today, offering decades of naturopathic experience with more than 15 years in a professional setting. I use a number of strategies to accurately assess what is out of balance in your body and what you most need to heal, and to improve your energy, health and wellbeing.

Why? : Although naturopathy is a learned skill, there is this underlying desire here by your customers (and potential clients) that you can work miracles/that you have some natural gift with healing. I have no intention for you to lead your customers on (I understand this is a very touchy subject in naturopathy and the fact you are registered is a big pull card), but in a welcome statement, a hint of something beyond skill could be useful to capture hearts and hopes and this initial impression will be lasting throughout the rest of your time with them, which will of course remain strictly knowledgeable and professional.

  1. GETTING HELP

Alternative considerations:

Do you self-prescribe herbal remedies, teas or ointments? Have you bought natural products that have simply appealed to you on the shelf of the health store or pharmacy? You could be doing yourself a disservice.

Without knowledge of the compatibility of herbs for both within our bodies and with one another, you could be seeing no benefits at all or even worse, causing further issues to your health.

Many of us don’t want to head to the doctor for small niggles and ailments that come with daily life and like to manage our health on our own both in a natural way and whilst we are able.

But over-the-counter products produced by big brands can be overpriced and likely of an inferior quality. I strictly use products I know and trust to be safe, high quality and free from side effects.

Together during your consultation, we will cultivate a bespoke formula using natural remedies, alternative medicines and herbal medicine.

These will be uniquely compatible with your body.

By using a range of different strategies which includes a nutritional assessment, the underlying causes of your physical or emotional distress can be identified. Holistic health addresses how your entire body communicates with itself and I will advise on how you can best make healthy choices specific to your needs and lifestyle.

My holistic approach focuses on education so that you have the knowledge to stay well. (I love this quote of yours).

Why? : slight fear tactics here – I’m not a fan of using them aggressively, but just used here will get people thinking. I think we ALL self-prescribe in one way or another (buying herbal tea or an ointment) and just to be aware that your skills enhance this could become a tipping point for consultation.

  1. About Me.

Alternative considerations:

When my second daughter failed to thrive and at 12 months of age weighed only 12lbs, I was desperate for solutions and answers. She was given every asthma drug available but was wheezy and wouldn’t grow. A friend suggested I go to see a naturopath.

This was thirty three years ago.

Read More

Why? : This is like a hook to a story and just demands that you click to see what is going to happen. We kind of know what happened – don’t we: naturopathy. We love authenticity and will relate to your struggles (You nailed this already). We can draw conclusions from here that you got into naturopathy and then began a business – 33 years ago. However we can also read on and complete the story that you’ve built up. Keeping this short is beneficial, because short-attention spans are starting to wander this far through the home page. Please do keep your profile image here – it should work wonderfully.

  1. What is a registered naturopath?

What is a Registered Naturopath?

I am a Registered Naturopath and Medical Herbalist, registered with Naturopaths and Medical Herbalists of N.Z. (Inc.). This body only accepts as members naturopaths who have met their stringent educational standards and committed to continued professional education on a yearly basis.

If you have natural health insurance with Southern Cross or other provider, my membership of NMHNZ (Inc.) entitles you to claim my consultation fees and allergy testing costs.

I qualified as a Naturopath from Wellpark College of Natural Therapies in 2002 and qualified as a QRA Practitioner in 2012.

Alternative considerations:

I honestly think this is pretty good. Straight to the point and it’s not something I can mess around with because it’s fact. The only thing I can think of that will improve reader experience here is to change the title. Suggestions such as:

  • Why choose a registered naturopath?
  • Why choose me?
  • You have accreditation on your side
  • Got health insurance?
  • Look at the facts

Why? : Any of these are a little more catchy (except perhaps the first one). I feel when we use the term ‘registered naturopath’ in the title, we expect to see a list of certificates and therefore don’t really consume the information as we should. People are crackers for reading what they expect to read and not actually what is there. By asking questions or leaving no clues, we are forced to actually read it.

  1. Testimonial

This is all good and I love the lavender that follows. Nice point in time to break the text up with an image. Usually a testimonial comes at the end of a page, or just before the contact details – but I actually quite like that you’ve placed it here. Storytelling helps us to share concepts and you have successfully done this with your ‘about me’ snippet This came before some hard facts were given and now again a story with a testimonial. We are then ready again to take on some facts.

  1. My Approach.

 Alternative considerations:

My initial thought and something I have been dying to say is to add images rather than numbers here. I mean clip art images like these that somehow explain what it is you do with each strategy:

Instead of 1: have a muscle emoji or simply the the letters QRA

Instead of 2: have clip art of some pottery or a potters wheel and a lump of clay

Instead of 3: have some wheat blowing in the breeze

Instead of 4: have some emotion symbol

Instead of 5: have something like

Instead of 6: have

Ensure images are very simple, uniform in design and able to just be white on the coloured circle. I used to subscribe to venngage and this offered nice clip art images to use. I bet there’s plenty free out there – I just googled these images for ideas.

Why? : Numbers do suggest chronological order and I don’t think this is what you do? Numbers also indicate relevance of importance, especially when QRA is perhaps your top dog. I’m not sure you really want to imply one is more beneficial than the other.

Alternative consideration for text:

I use QRA to assess what your body needs to heal itself, and accurately prescribe herbal medicines and nutritional products specific to you. For best results, we also assess whether interference fields are affecting your health, address other underlying causes such as allergies, toxicity or emotional issues, and improve diet and lifestyle.

Struggling to find an alternative here. Again it is short, sweet, to the point, intelligent, commanding and confident. Slight grammatical changes are offered below.

  • I use QRA to assess what your body needs in order to heal itself. I can then accurately prescribe herbal medicines and nutritional supplements that are specific to you. For best results, we also assess whether interference fields are affecting your health, address other underlying complications such as allergies, toxicity or emotional issues and improve on your diet and lifestyle.

Below the 6 approaches that you use, I would have a final say. This is your final moment to reach out as having scrolled through your entire web page without being drawn into heading somewhere else, it is possible to lose viewers if they don’t make contact now. (of course, let’s be positive, they may scroll back up and click somewhere else, I’m just running through possibilities 🙂 )

Considerations for this:

  • I am open to answer any quick questions you may have regarding your health and lifestyle
  • Send me a question you may have below through the form and I will get back to you
  • If you are interested in making changes for the better but don’t know where to start, just ask, I am here to help

OR, a different approach

  • You have one shot at your health, let’s get it right
  • Health is one of the most important factors in your life
  • Being healthy is a holistic journey, evaluating all physical and mental processes within you.
  • You’re unique, addressing your concerns need to be unique as well

OR, joining them both together.

  • Being healthy is a holistic journey, evaluating all physical and mental processes within you. I am open to answer any questions you may have regarding your health and lifestyle.
  1. Contact.

Not much to change here. Tell me though, do you get many people contacting you through this online form? Would be interesting to know.

CONTACT PAGE

Thoughts to consider:

  • I warmly invite you to phone or email me to discuss your health concerns. I offer a no strings attached free consultation where we can talk about the benefits naturopathy can offer you.
  • Let me know what’s going on and I will do my best to help. I am always interested in understanding the health concerns of those in my community so I can adjust my methods and approaches accordingly.
  • Hello! help me help you. What is concerning you lately where you feel a natural solution may be your best option?
  • If you use herbal remedies yourself, let’s understand together their benefits for your body. If you don’t, perhaps it is time to harness the power of plants.
  • Got a health concern? Jot it down here and press send. You never know where it might lead you.
  • Got a health concern? Jot it down in the message box. I will get back to you with some free advice and a guide to how you can get the most out of life.

Why? : You may not want to offer something for free, but it’s a little bit the nature of the beast these days where value needs to be immediately seen before someone will take the bait.

I read the other day Lynne, in some marketing article, that a company had been offering free subscriptions to their product and as a result, people were actually buying more of the paid ones. Funny how the mind works. Not only are they building their email lists to upsell to later, but they were increasing sales without even working on further marketing strategies. Win-win.

I thought, even if it isn’t exactly a hand out that you’re giving, but the implication that you are offering free care will entice people to just take that step and break the ice with you.

Some of the ways I’ve worded this twist it so that their communication with you is doing you a favour. Again, playing on the human psyche, we are more likely to like someone if we have helped them – you may find they are warmed to you in the first place.

Asking questions compels people to answer. This would work best with the multi-choice question style you have for your contact page

Design of contact page:

I am in two minds about dropping the detail of the contact form. If you go with a ‘help me help you’ kind of style, then a questionnaire would be quite fun to fill out.

However if you go with a more traditional ‘contact me’, then a more straightforward name, email, phone number, message is as far as you need to go.

The more I think about this one, the more I like the question ‘what are you enquiring about’ on this contact page. If a customer can click multiple, all that much better. Perhaps offer another option that suggests multiple concerns, aside from ‘general wellness’. Maybe a ‘some/all of the above’ option. 

I like your image choice purely for the freshness and wetness about it. It inspires clean, fresh, new, bright, healthy. If you’re looking for an image change, then keep this in mind not to lose it.

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